SEO Panda / by Armen Atoyan

Myself and two friends decided we were going to expand our existing SEO knowledge even further and take a class all about search engine optimization. What we didn't expect was optimizing our escape plan. 

Int. Little Tokyo Shop

It all started so innocent. We sat down, got comfortable and claimed a seat by the door just in case it went longer then expected. Then it started with a Russian speaker who no one could understand and a slideshow that was blurry we quickly realized we weren't going to learn anything. Dumbstruck by what we were witnessing we opened our computers and began to "take notes" and by notes I mean G-chat with each other.

Friend: This is THE BEST!

Me: This class is everything!

Friend: I WISH WE HAD WINE!

Me: I'm in love.

Friend: Did you see that?!

Me: Wait, what did I miss?

Friend: Someones phone rang and he looked like he was going to quit. Also, no one understands what he’s saying and the hostility is palpable, from audience and the presenter.

Me: Literally dying.

Then a woman started taking pictures of the slideshow with her camera sound at full volume. It got so out of control we were laughing out loud. Phones in hand, computers packed away, we made a plan. 

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At this point it had been a few minutes and my phone was quickly approaching 4% battery life, I had to pee, and I was starving. However, we had one issue. There were about four people blocking the door, one clearly with the group responsible for this epic failure of a class and three civilians. There were people just leaving the class without any shame by now, but we felt a little bad so we decided to wait a few more moments. With an emphasis on few.

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Without missing a beat we took the opportunity to make a run for it. One, two, three... We were outside the doors and walking to Japanese food, Ebisu, to be exact. I love this spot, it's kitchy, clean, and feels like the flying Asian take out food boat in The Fifth Element. Imaginary multipass in hand I was ready to chow down. 

Before heading out we also stopped across the street to a fun little shop, PopKiller. Cue the panda! It was just there, above the racks of clothes, waiting for me. Like a gift from the panda gods I tried it on snap chatting away and running around the store saying, "what if I just showed up to a work meeting in this?" And "I need this for the office Halloween, and I won't take it off all day. How awkward do you think it'll make people? I should get this..." Only to look at the $50 price tag I slowly took it off as if made of gold and walked away. Then I saw the cat hat. Possibly the cutest and most wearable hat in existence. With a price tag of $15 they were now speaking my language. Sold to the crazy panda man! Me-ow. 

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